5 Ways Pornography Disrupts Relationship Synergy

Now more than ever we are seeing an alarming trend of increasing divorce rates and relationship dysfunction along with an explosion of porn use. Is porn disrupting your relationship? Many couples have endured years of relationship problems simply because they did not understand the root cause. Often times in the beginning of relationships certain indulgences are allowed and reinforced under the paradigm “you will do anything to make your spouse happy.” But in such cases, these behaviors become destructive vices that eventually ruin relationship synergy. Pornography may be an example. Here are five ways that porn may disrupt your relationship:

1. Devalues role of spouse.

This part is crucial because a major role of sexual intercourse outside of pleasure is to build and maintain a sensual bound. In the beginning of most relationships the majority of problems are solved by sex. Many have come to enjoy the sensual power of “make-up” sex that drives you momentarily to overlook the issue that created the conflict. In most cases, without this component you will have very little motivation to discuss and work on the problems of the relationship. Sexuality gives power to the female, whom studies have shown in most cases are the more mature of spouses. There have been many times where men have been banished to the sexual abyss of “sleeping on the couch” to reconsider a point of view or neglect. Pornography takes this power out of the hands of the female. As a result, men actually look forward to taking permanent residence on the couch or in the basement to indulge in pornography while they secretly avoid addressing relationship problems with their spouse.

2. Increases chances of infidelity.

Pornography programs the brain through repeated sexual stimulation coupled with explicit visual images resulting in specific sexual desires. If the relationship is on solid ground then this energy will be directed at your mate. If you are not attracted to your mate in this manner or the relationship is enduring problems, then most will seek to express or fulfill these fantasies outside of the relationship. Another point is some of the behaviors programmed by pornography are deemed too explicit and disrespectful to introduce to your mate. As a result, the nature of such sexual acts will also motivate the desire to fulfill these fantasies outside of the relationship. In most cases, the imagery of pornography creates unrealistic sexual behavior that can only manifest in the fantasy world of infidelity.

3. Decreases desire to participate romantically.

One of the key signs of a porn problem is your mate’s lack of motivation to interact romantically with you. One reason is because porn creates an incorrect view of women as exceptionally licentious beings willing and able to perform any sexual act at any given moment. The fact of the matter is most women enjoy the romance and interaction that leads to the sexual act. Pornography paints a picture of women who will drop everything at any given moment to perform whatever sexual fantasy asked of her, which creates a level of laziness and impatience in men when it comes to sex. The second reason is the porn industry is profit driven and utilizes young voluptuous, visually stimulating women, to drive the repeat customer base. In other words, a porn addiction is bound to a certain type of look, shape and body composure that may not be the reality at home. Not placing an importance on romance and affection and a lack of sexual attraction weakens the motivation to interact romantically.

4. Increases irritability, anger and blame towards spouse.

Many times when pornography is a problem men will overuse masturbation, which can impact testosterone production long term. In the book,Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, Mantak Chia states, “when men abuse the reproduction function, the secretion of the sexual glands are lost.” A common sign of overuse is low testosterone, which has been widely associated with irritability and anger. These people will lack the fortitude to shoulder responsibility and thus shift the blame to their spouse, placing them at fault not only for the problems in the relationship but also for its sexual issues. This further creates disdain towards the partnership and negatively impacts relationship synergy.

5. Limits your ability to perform sexually.

A porn problem can lead to an inability to perform sexually with spouse. In fact there is a term created to define this reality in men called porn induced erectile dysfunction. There are many medical reasons behind Erectile Dysfunction (ED), but when porn is the issue it is a problem in the brain. The repeated sexual stimulation and masturbation along with explicit sexual imagery, programs the brain to initiate arousal only through self-stimulation and pornographic images. This results in a lack of sexual drive and inability to manifest sexual arousal towards your spouse. In extreme cases, the desire to interact sexually with a physical person is completely limited to a very narrow spectrum defined by porn, which ultimately creates a greater dependence upon it. This is further compounded when your indulgence in porn far exceeds your sexual interaction with a real person. Lack of sexual interaction within established relationships is a killer of synergy.

Many problems in relationships are not directly tied to pornography. However, when porn is a problem it impedes relationship synergy. Hopefully, these Five Ways Porn Disrupts Relationships will help solve issues and bring synergy, happiness and enjoyment back into your relationship.

Ra Ama Hetep Amen has been a Synergy Coach for over 10 years. He has close to 15 years of business and sales experience with some of the top fortune 500 companies both in the pharmaceutical and financial services arena. He has also held the position of branch manager with one of the top financial services companies. He has over 10 years of experience and training in traditional African philosophy with an emphasis on ancient Egyptian principles and personality methodologies. He has been married 19 years and counting and has three children. Catch up with him on Twitter at @RaAmaHetep or Facebook at Ra Ama Hetep Amen.

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